Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

'Where you from?' says the guy in the ill fitting suit now following us along Fremont Street in the downtown, old town district of Vegas.

'London,' we reply, barely glancing over our shoulder.

'Wanna see a show tonight?'  Our pace quickens. '...for free.'

Our pace slows.

'Nothing's free,' I suggest.

'Well, you'd be surprised.  Why don't y'all come on over to see my colleague and we'll see what we can do.'

It is then that we remember it and give each other a casual, yet all-knowing glance.

It was way back on a rain soaked night in Australia, with the latest deluge battering the tin roof of the camp kitchen above us, when a friendly chap from Liverpool seduced us over kangaroo sausages with talk of heavily discounted tickets for theme parks in Orlando.  So easy to find, he said, so quick and simple to do, and with a super money-saving pay-off at the end of it.  And it turns out they do it in Vegas too.

So on our second morning in Sin City, our own mini bus came and picked us up from our hotel and drove us down to "The Strip" (the long row of super casinos such as Ceaser's Palace, The Bellagio etc.) and delivered us at The Jockey Club.  Over coffee and doughnuts, a very friendly chap in a smart suit chatted to us about our favourite vacations, what we like to do on vacation, how important vacations are and, finally, how much we normally spend on vacations.  The idea, he said, is to introduce to us a new, cost effective way of taking five-star vacations for the rest of our lives.  No pressure, just a fun and informative ninety minute presentation about the exciting world of time-shares and we'd be on our way with our 'gifts'.  And it was for these 'gifts' and these 'gifts' alone that Rosie and I were there in the first place...

Do we want to make large, substantial savings on vacations for the rest of our lives?  No!  Do we want to make a life-prolonging (their actual words) investment to be handed down to our children and our children's children?  No!  Are we interested in the fun and flexible idea of a time-share?  No!  Would we like to make a $500 deposit today along with the $1,000 a year membership fee?  No!  Could we afford the $500 a month subscription for the next 45 years?  No!.....we'll just take our free show tickets and free meal coupons, thank you!

After an oh-so-polite "grilling" from a senior sales executive (who basically asked, 'how much money can you afford to give us today?') once we'd declined the junior salesperson's initial offer, we strode across Las Vegas Boulevard, into the Planet Hollywood casino and leisure complex, and booked ourselves in for two magic shows, an all you can eat, three course buffet (which turned out to be amazing - I had candy floss and designer cupcakes for desert!) and a live high-end stage production entitled "Vegas - The Musical" all for a grand total of zero dollars and zero cents...oh, and I won a giant blow-up Vegas sign in one of the magic shows!

And as if that wasn't enough of a bargain, our hotel had given us $10 in free slot play just for staying there, so we sat and hit the '1 line, 1 credit' button a thousand times on the penny slots when we got home - all washed down with giant cocktails in American football shaped cups.  Gambling grannies, Elvis impersonators, the single biggest screen in the world, cocktails so big you have to hang them from your neck, blinding neon lights, live bands playing in the middle of the street, a miniature Eiffel tower, a miniature Venice, a miniature New York, 24 hour bars, 24 hour diners, five dollar steak dinners, one dollar daiquiris, the biggest hotels in the world and the endless chatter of a billion slot machines.  If you don't gamble, you will always win in Vegas - it's just so much fun!

The Fremont Street Experience, Downtown Las Vegas